Dubious Notions

Here is an idea whose time is long overdue! It seems that the Alibi Network has developed a sizzling new business model in that they've found a way to profit off of "the dark side".

This website offers a buffet service providing and executing excuses to allow budding lotharios to cheat on their significant others, the shiftless to call in sick and the unemployable to present themselves as top executives. AN will customize a workable "solution" to meet your every need. Duplicity was never easier.

The Alibi Network has installed a sophisticated phone system that can make any phone number appear on a phone's caller ID when its owner picks up. The application of such a clever use of technology is virtually limitless. In addition, they employ skilled actors who are capable of following any script and instructions to make your immoral scheming a success.

If profits begin to fall off at some point in the future, they could certainly reinvent themselves as blackmailers of their burgeoning client base.

Oh happy days!

One can only speculate as to what would induce would-be suicide bomber Sajida Mubarak Atrous al-Rishawi to go on public television to confess her crimes. The answer doesn't appear to be a desire to promote her political ideology as she doesn't seem to have given any reasons for her actions.

I'm wondering if the Jordanian methods of extracting confessions from their criminal suspects are perhaps a bit more persuasive than ours here in the west.

Well it's in. Murder is on the rise in the U.K. as that august periodical the British Medical Journal informs us. And what is the weapon of choice of our Anglo brethren? Knives, accounting for one third of all homicides.

The solution to this epidemic of death by cutlery... "We suggest that banning the sale of long pointed knives is a sensible and practical measure..."

I'm no expert on the dynamics of the thought processes of the criminal mind but I have grave concerns for our future if this is the best that the brightest among us have to offer.

My suggestion to the authors of the above referenced study: Knives don't kill people. People with murderous intent and access to knives, guns, baseball bats, heavy chains, various and sundry poisons, heavy sculptures, automobiles, garrots, high balconies, any manner of power tools and flammable accelerants kill people.

My list is not exhaustive and I invite the reader to contribute to other modes of destruction (all of which apparently require some sort of federal ban).

Eugene Volokh of the Volokh Conspiracy recently published this post. He quotes the language of some Indiana and Tennessee law defining the crime of public nudity. Volokh calls particular attention to this clause:

"the showing of covered male genitals in a discernibly turgid state."

I'm particularly gratified to note the precise exposition of this important bit of legislation. However, several questions arise:

• What degree of scrutiny would be required to define the requisite "discernibly turgid state"? Would a casual glance be the standard or would the effort required for deliberate, concentrated examination be acceptable?
• Shouldn't there be some provisions for mitigating circumstances such as instigation by a voluptuous, scantily clad vixen showing up at an all boys' parochial school picnic outing?
• What kind of proof would be required? It would seem that the evidence would be evanescent at best particularly after the suspected perpetrator was notified that he's to be arrested.

I'd be grateful for some legal clarification as a confluence of events might find me in one of the states in question in the state in question.

Thanks to A Welsh View for this post: Las Vegas is claiming the record for the world's largest birthday cake.

I'm anticipating a lot of doggie bags.

Michelle Malkin has more to say about the Newsweek story retraction.

Personally, I never trusted Newsweek's story about the Guantanamo Bay intelligence agent who flushed a copy of the Koran down a toilet. I don't know how things are at your house but around here, any such attempt would require a prompt search for the plumber's helper.

At last!