Saturday, May 28, 2005


Big Brains in the British Medical Community

Well it's in. Murder is on the rise in the U.K. as that august periodical the British Medical Journal informs us. And what is the weapon of choice of our Anglo brethren? Knives, accounting for one third of all homicides.

The solution to this epidemic of death by cutlery... "We suggest that banning the sale of long pointed knives is a sensible and practical measure..."

I'm no expert on the dynamics of the thought processes of the criminal mind but I have grave concerns for our future if this is the best that the brightest among us have to offer.

My suggestion to the authors of the above referenced study: Knives don't kill people. People with murderous intent and access to knives, guns, baseball bats, heavy chains, various and sundry poisons, heavy sculptures, automobiles, garrots, high balconies, any manner of power tools and flammable accelerants kill people.

My list is not exhaustive and I invite the reader to contribute to other modes of destruction (all of which apparently require some sort of federal ban).

Brilliant! Where is the logic in suggesting you can stop a drunk/high/and or psychotic person from committing murder by banning long knives?

Other potential weapons found in the average household include:

Knife sharpening tools, rolling pins (especially a marble one like my mom's), blunt ended cleavers, the common steak knife, glass shards, glass bottles, gas oven + matches, mirrors, 2-part epoxy, kitchen twine, stairs (handy for pushing people down), sewing shears, attack dogs, and a plastic gift card if you can believe the TV show 24.
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